Posted September 2, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
Once again, the starting page number of this chapter proves to be very significant as Kreacher reveals his story to the trio. But before we get to the elf tale, Harry spends some time ransacking Sirius’s bedroom, under the watchful eye of several bikini-clad muggle girls, a very telling photo of the Marauders, and possibly… Read more
Posted August 26, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
The trio lands in the middle of London–but NOT on Shaftesbury Avenue–and Ron and Harry (or should we still be calling him Barny??) look extra cool in their dress robes. It’s a good thing that Hermione turns out to be more skilled at undetectable extension charms than she is at memory charms. As they search… Read more
Posted August 19, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
Thanks to Cousin Barny’s outstanding attention span, this vunderful chapter is filled with beautiful wedding quotes, which are quite useful for social media posts when people you love get married! This chapter also brings the long-awaited introduction of the effervescent Auntie Muriel, charming family memories of old Uncle Bilius, and intriguing theories about Mr. Weasley’s… Read more
Posted August 12, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
Harry finally comes of age, so it’s time to really put his magic skillz to the test and make some stuff fly around the room! It’s also time to try out a few of the twelve fail-safe ways to charm witches on both of the Weasley women, though Ron and a certain tall, faceless, unpleasant… Read more
Posted August 5, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
Harry’s struggle with his savior complex has never been more real, and there’s just no time for anything so completely trivial as vol-au-vents or weddings! Unfortunately for him, Mrs. Weasley (whose eyes are the exact shade of Ginny’s, coincidentally) has other plans for everyone, which do not include magically-altered motorbikes or plotting Voldemort’s demise. We… Read more
Posted July 29, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
Martha may not be as excited about this week’s chapter art as she was last week, but the characters do remind us of a certain Hundred Acre Wood character, to everyone’s surprise! Also included this week are the many things we “do like,” Harry mistaking Andromeda for Bellatrix (even though she isn’t singing), and imagined… Read more
Posted July 22, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
The moment we’ve all been dreading has finally arrived, so have a seat on the washing machine, pour yourself a tall glass of Harry-flavored Polyjuice Potion (it’s much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle!) and drink to our poor sweet girl, the true fallen warrior, queen of our hearts, Hedwig. We’re really going to miss her… Read more
Posted July 15, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
The Dursleys and Harry bid each other adieu, though not quite as tearfully as Hestia and Dedalus (aka the Order’s D-Squad) predicted. Awkward moments ensue when Harry realizes that Dudley didn’t actually attempt a clever booby trap, Vernon realizes the Order’s master plan to get their house, and Dedalus refers to the Dursleys in the… Read more
Posted July 8, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
As Harry makes his way through his trunk and reads his newspaper, he is also forced to reckon with the fact that he is now a magic school dropout. Hedwig is trapped in her cage (moment of silence), the validity of Elphias Doge’s friendship with Dumbledore is questioned, and Harry realizes that his education has… Read more
Posted July 1, 2019 by RealWeirdAlice
Martha relives an embarrassing stream of Facebook videos, Alice reveals that she does not really care about Charity Burbage, and both sisters get a little too caught up looking up pictures of white peacocks. Also featured in the chapter are Voldemort being extremely withholding, Lucius being pathetic, and Yaxley trying way too hard. When you… Read more