This chapter includes one of Harry’s — sorry, “Roonil’s” — lowest points in the series, but also some very positive moments for other characters, such as the creature in Harry’s chest. It just goes to show that our actions don’t always have consequences! In addition to his choice of attack on Malfoy, Harry faces several… Read more
Finally, with Slughorn’s original memory in hand, Dumbledore can tell Harry the truth. 100% of it! There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, that he’s keeping from Harry now. Alice and Martha debate the merits of censorship (and Alice seems suspiciously interested in learning more about exactly how to make a Horcrux) and the mathematics of splitting up… Read more
This podcast is covered in tear stains as we bid farewell to Aragog, king of arachnids. But before we get to that, there’s plenty of time to brew up something amusing, though hopefully not a curdled purple dumpling. And don’t worry, this episode is safe to listen to – we had a house elf test… Read more
The boy so solid he cannot Apparate half an inch across a room takes advantage of some extra practice sessions in Hogsmeade, while Harry continues to obsess over Malfoy and a very pretty girl who is standing guard over the Room of Requirement. Most importantly, Alice and Martha discuss a very promising fan theory about… Read more
Two new queens have entered the scene, and they come in the form of a melting iced cake and the oldest house elf in the world. In other words, we’d be glad to see anything Miss Hepzibah has to show us, and we’ve never been more in sympathy with SPEW. Get ready for some master… Read more
Ron spends some time recovering in the hospital wing, avoiding Lavender, and leaning into his true feelings for Er-my-nee. Harry spends his time obsessing over Malfoy, avoiding Lavender (and Cormac), and jumping to conclusions about Sn-I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT. And like McLaggen’s Bludger does with Harry’s head, worlds collide as Peeves, Dobby, and… Read more
Two real weirdos are back to talk about tales of elves — all 399 of them! That number is certainly significant, though not quite as significant as this chapter’s opening words: so, all in all. Wow. Brilliant. Really brilliant. You may be surprised by this week’s real weirdo and chapter ranking, but nothing is as… Read more
No shortcuts or cheats are going to help Harry during the most challenging Potions lesson of the year so far, so he resorts to sheer cheek–oh, he is his mother’s son! The sixth years begin Apparition lessons, though Harry’s not really fussed; after all, he prefers brooms. Ron gets a seriously good haul for his… Read more
Harry and the gang return to Hogwarts via the Floo Network, and are sure not to get any ash on the carpet. In the fallout of the Fat Lady’s overindulgence over the holidays, Alice and Martha finally figure out the true meaning behind some of Lupin’s most enigmatic words. And finally, Slughorn does a very… Read more
It’s Christmas at the Burrow, and everyone is celebrating (except the poor garden gnome being held hostage on the top of the tree). The Weasley family listens to Celestina Warbeck’s marvelous tunes, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and Harry takes the opportunity to catch up with his buddy Arthur and wise old Professor Lupin, whom… Read more
