Oh my goodness, is that them? Is that the examiners?? Professors Tofty (or is it Toffee?) and Marchbanks have arrived, and when it comes to O.W.L.s (more commonly known as owls) it’s not really what you know, it’s who you know. From Ernie averaging eight hours of studying a day to Hermione forgetting the definition of ehwaz, everyone is going to be glad when exams are finally… Read more
In Hagrid’s Tale, Part 2, we finally get the answer to the most important mystery of the book…what Hagrid has been doing and why he has been so beaten up all this time! Harry and Hermy have the pleasure of meeting Grawp, who definitely DOESN’T pick Hermione up or wave her around in the air. Luckily, the ruddy stargazers… Read more
Now that Harry’s got the basics of Occlumency down, Snape figures he can just carry on on his own with his studies. However, he’s so down about Cho (it definitely couldn’t be anything else) that he’s having trouble enjoying the Easter holidays. When Ginny hatches a dangerous plan, Fred and George are willing to risk… Read more
With Umbridge as the new Head of Hogwarts, Fred and George take their troublemaking to the next level. A kitten plate saves Harry from divulging important information, though isn’t that the point of the Fidelius Charm? Voldemort begins laying the groundwork for luring Harry to the Ministry (we think?) and Malfoy finds out that Harry has been taking… Read more
With Firenze now at the helm of the Divination class, we have a lot of questions. Why are Lavender and Parvati so attracted to their new professor? Has teaching always been Firenze’s dream? And where exactly do centaurs come from? We also spend plenty of time mourning the end of the D.A., celebrating Dobby’s bravery, and… Read more
While Ron continues to fail miserably at Quidditch, Harry continues to fail miserably at Occlumency, maybe because his visions make him feel special…important? However, it’s not all doom and gloom this chapter. Believe it or not, Harry’s interview with Rita sends the Quibbler to reprint faster than any previous issue, even those about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks! And Trelawney’s sacking… Read more
Several disturbing news stories shake the wizarding community, and Hermione sees the chance for an opening for Harry to regain some credibility. Harry goes on a disastrous date with the Human Hosepipe. And finally, Rita Skeeter makes her triumphant return as Hermione’s unlikely drinking mate. We may not love the title of this chapter, but… Read more
Snape reveals himself as a master of sass when he makes a surprise visit to Grimmauld Place. Harry reluctantly parts with Sirius, and Lupin and Tonks enjoy their first date as group chaperones on the Knight Bus. Harry’s unhappy return to Hogwarts is made worse with his first session of Remedial Potions (Good Lord, he must be… Read more
Harry wallows in the wake of the Extendable Ears fiasco (this is exactly why Phineas Nigellus loathed being a teacher!) and comes up with some interesting theories about how exactly he might have attacked Mr. Weasley. Everyone forgets that Ginny almost died as a first year, and Hermione gives up a really good skiing trip in order… Read more
In one of the most suspenseful chapters of the series so far, Mr. Weasley’s life hangs in the balance as Harry struggles to convey just how serious the situation is (do they not realize how much a person bleeds when fangs that long pierce their side?). It’s a strange situation when Sirius behaves more maturely than… Read more
